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Symptoms in order of occurrence: Male Symptoms:a. a gradually increasing desire to ejaculate onto self and othersb. stronger orgasms; able to perform sexually through multiple orgasms before becoming flaccidc. unable to become flaccidd. powerful, unstoppable urges to have sexual intercourse with women, which are always acted upon when they occur, wherever they occurFemale Symptoms:a. sudden desires to perform oral sex and swallow semenb. an increase in interest in women (if heterosexual) or an increase in interest in men (if homosexual)c. less satisfied with normal, vaginal intercoursed. develops a need to have sexual intercourse on a very frequent basis; often five times a day; if not met, the female will attempt to rape any male she can findUniversal Effect after Final Symptoms: Face, hair and body structure become more feminine; in the case of males, a loss of all visible masculine physical appearanceEffects of HMP-Z on males:a. penis and testicles remain unchangedb. large breasts. Chuck Norris has no mother, as crawling out of a vagina is unbecoming of a man of his stature. Chuck Norris spontaneously came into existence on Karl Marx’s birthday. This was no accident since Chuck Norris is the polar opposite of communism’s yin, and the very thought of communism makes Chuck Norris Want to puke.Chuck Norris Defender of FreedomChuck Norris has fought in every American war including the American Revolution, The War of the Worlds, Korean War, Vietnam, Desert Storm, Black Hawk Down, World War 1, World War 2, Red Dawn, American Civil War, the Iran-Iraq war (on both sides simultaneously), and the War on d**gs. The only war Chuck has not fought in was the French and Indian war because Chuck Norris could give a shit less about the French, in Chuck’s opinion the French complain to much and deserve to get their asses kicked. Chuck Norris wins by attrition.Chuck’s Favorite Foods:WhiskeySteel WoolSometimes when Chuck Norris gets tired of Whiskey or steel wool, he’ll eat.
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