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’ ‘Or because I’ve had a boyfriend for less than a minute.’ ‘I know what would make it seem more real.’ ‘What?’ ‘Let’s change our relationship status on facebook.’ I laughed hysterically. ‘You are 34 years old and the first thing you want to do is change your facebook?’ ‘Uh yeah. Oh come on, guys call you the ‘island’ because you are always alone. I want my duly earned bragging rights.’ ‘You’re an idiot.’ I slipped on his discarded t-shirt and went to find my laptop. I came back with it and got into bed. ‘You can take that off,’ he tugged on my shirt. ‘Now that we are dating it’s not all about sex.’ ‘It will always be about sex. Always. If you hadn’t been so eager to lose it then we would have never gotten together you know.’ He had a point but the shirt stayed on. He pulled me into his lap so he could see the laptop too. We both changed our relationship statuses to say that we were in a relationship with each other. ‘How long you think it will take for someone to call?’ ‘As soon. . All trying to sound reasonable but just coming off like he was completely shitting his pants. Really kid? This again? I was beginning to think the little shit was actually stalling for time, and I wasnt having any of that, I had a plan today. Shut up. I interrupted. shut the fuck up. Thats my mouth fixing an angry finger at it, I say when you work it. I dont have time for the pathetic little speech you memorized last night between jacking off to the image of me owning your mouth and crying yourself to sleep in shame because it turned you on. I dont give a fuck how you feel about it. Shut up and turn around. Boy I must have really hit that nail on the head because he audibly gasped at the jacking off bit and gave me this look like oh my god do you have cameras in my house or something?! and then he started seal-bark-sobbing like the first day I heard him like all: BWA! BWAHAHA! (lol). I SAID TURN AROUND BITCH I snarled and he spun with his hands at his sides all balled up into fists.
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