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.that was the end of my beginning, the end of wanting, right in front and on my left, my hung african fellow, my first lover.two more dates, and so it was, and we came to our third date where our minds set upon this goal, this virginity. He was 24 or so he stated, but his age wasn't what I wanted to know.I said "take me home, ben"led around my own neighborhood as If i wouldn't know the way. Looking back upon my naïvety I smile still as my lips parted he said "hunmft" and click he opened his entry way door.The smell of that place lingers in the nostrils, single living they called it but I call it sex incarnate.quick as a whistle I followed him to his flat, such a hovel and so proud and neat he is. I said "take me" he said (with a furrowed brow) You sure? Yes. I stated simply.And he did. Kisses, liccorrish taffy kisses with a firm jaw and sharp teeth but gentle and strong hands. mmm, I disassociate again and don't remember, the passion, the prowess of that man, that Lover of Mine. “You’ll find someone sooner or later,” she had said when I had come back from a date one night looking noticeably depressed. The thing was Alice had been quite agreeable, but I just couldn’t go all the way. Mostly because of my nerves, but that wasn’t the only reason.“She just wasn’t the one, mom,” I had said. Mom had hugged me then, and she had felt warm and comfortable. What I hadn’t said then, but had already subconsciously been thinking was: “Why can’t you be the one, mom, even if just for one night?”Eventually I had said it out loud. Nothing had happened until months later, but we had talked about it quite a few times. Mom had not thought the idea to be as weird as I had assumed. “It’s perfectly natural to feel like that, but it’s not something people actually do,” she had initially said.Later in our close moments I had tried to awkwardly explain how important it would be for me. She had been understanding and nodding along as I spoke. “I’ll have to think about this and read.
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