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This week, though, things got a little interesting at work. Shortlyafter I arrived at work on Monday, an unfamiliar woman arrived and wasshown to an empty desk next to Sue's. She was tall, slim and quiteattractive, probably in her early 40s as far as I could tell. And therewas something about her that fascinated me and made me want to get toknow her but I just couldn't figure out what it was.As I've explored who I really am, one thing that has suffered isrelationships. Basically, I shy away from them. It's not that I don'twant someone to be intimate with and to grow old with but I just fearthat the way I feel about myself is incompatible with a stable romanticrelationship.There was someone once. She had just joined Planet and, simply put, wasthe most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. It quickly became apparent thatshe was attracted to me and, although I was hesitant to make the firstmove, she certainly wasn't. I was fascinated by her; she was alwaysimmaculately dressed and made up, she. Her dollhouse, her shoes, her numerous toys and games. All waiting for her to come back and play with them. They sat in anticipation, like they did that afternoon so many years ago. And in the little bed, covered from head to toe lay a little form, eerily still. ‘Go on,’ Cathy said, more a voice than a body. He walked slowly to the bedside and stopped for a moment, wishing to god he didn’t have to do this again. Not again. He peeled back the blanket and there lay Cathy, pale and frozen, with glassy eyes wide open and staring beyond the ceiling. Her pillow, her dress, her dolly, they were all covered in a sickened brown-crimson of drying blood, the source being a large clot which had pooled in her right ear. ‘We never talked about that afternoon, big bro, did we? You knew what she did, you knew that after she was done she closed the door and went downstairs to drink herself to sleep. And you listened to it all through these paper-thin walls. And you knew that one day it was really.
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