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.. Daddy had the flu and Mummy said to keep away from him cause it is contagious. Teacher says very good Susie. Little Johnny’s hand goes up. Teacher dreads this but no one else raises a hand. OK Johnny ... I asked Mummy how long Daddy would be out fishing and she said it would take the contagious.Jack is on his death bed, and he says to his wife “Can you give me one last wish?” She says “Anything you want”. He says “After I die, will you marry Larry?” She says “But I thought you hated Larry”. With his last breath, he says “I do”.A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and asks for a beer. The bartender brings a beer and notices the parrot on his shoulder and says “Hey that’s really neat. Where did you get it?” The parrot responds “In the jungle, there’s millions of them”.A super-hot chick walks into her church and says to the priest “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned”. The priest says “Tell me dear, what’s on your mind?” “Well Father, I am a sex addict, and. I moved to close it. ‘Excuse me, sir,’ Hugh said, ‘hotel policy is we have to keep the door open at all times if with a female guest.’ ‘I bet that’s only alone with a female guest, and I’m here, so you aren’t alone.’ ‘Gee, that’s right,’ Hugh admitted,’ but still…’ ‘Answer the lady’s question, Hugh,’ I said, closing the door firmly. ‘Did your birthday bash become an orgy?’ I shut the door despite Hugh’s protests. ‘A lot of people paired off, I guess, but it wasn’t like a porn movie if that’s what you mean. No one was hooking up right in the middle of the room having a gang bang or such.’ ‘You like porn movies, Huge Hugh?’ Rachel said, now toying with his buttons. ‘Give the poor kid a break, Rach,’ I said, ‘all guys like porn movies.’ ‘Maybe we should make one right now. ‘The Lady and the Bellboy’. Catchy title, I think.’ She laughed, running her hand down his waistcoat, undoing buttons, and then brushing the back of her hand across the bulge in his trousers. ‘Oh, darn, no video.
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