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"Well, then you need to know for sure, don't you?" You mean I should confront him about it?"Sirinna paused. From what Amanda had told her, this foster father of hers had a heart of gold, but was in a great deal of pain. She could scarcely imagine such a thing in herself, as happy and content as she had been for much of her life, at least the part she remembered on Narlass. She did not think this man would hurt Amanda in any way."Yes, Amanda," Sirinna said finally. "Confront him about it."Amanda let her breath go as a sigh, as if she had been holding it waiting for Sirinna's response. "I think you're right, Sirinna. I probably would have done that anyway. I just needed to hear that it was the right thing to do."Sirinna only wished she knew whether or not it was the right thing to do.Amanda ran down the street to her home, her shoes splashing in puddles along low spots on the sidewalk, her face flushed. She clutched at one bra strap under her shirt, which had come loose halfway home,. My memories were as sharp as if it were yesterday, and while I continued my usual like of work and play, the occasional sexual encounters that I had left me empty and wanting. It was, altogether, a poor state of affairs. One night I was in my bed, thinking about that day and slowly masturbating, my finger s trying in vain to replay the feeling that she had given me. As my climax approached I should have felt elated, but I just felt depressed. I eventually fell asleep, but the whole of the next day this sense of despair continued. By evening, pressed like sardines on the Tube, I was practically suicidal. No longer did I dream of her, I totally hated her for showing me what I could now never ever have again. I am not the sort, though, that could ever take the easy way out, so after drinking half a bottle of scotch, I sat at my desk and surfed the internet for porn. Anything to help numb the awful combination of longing and need. I found the usual stuff, watched a few of the vids,.
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