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Making my way in the shadows, tapping the wall until I find the doorway, the exit towards the toilet. I can feel her, her breath on my neck, hands gliding down my waist. She is kissing me here. Tongue to shoulder blade, her hips against my backside, pressing me against the wood. Fingers quick and smooth, across my belly, so warm. I turn on the faucet, the water rushing from the tap, so urgent, so desperate, it feels so cold. My feet are so cold, the tile biting my toes, my only sensitivity, my extremities. In the dark I can see her, she is looking at me, she has come to me, she has come back. As I place my glasses to my head, it all becomes so desperately clear. A mirror image, it is my own face, my own sunken eye sockets, my cheekbones pointed and noticed. I have become so thin. What would she think of me, this shell I have become. Where is my shirt? My breasts almost nothing, flaps of skin against shiny ribs. Subsisting on coffee, cigarettes, an occasional carrot stick. I don’t. Nearly everything else about my life was and is great, but the sex has always been missing, so I’ve developed pretty good skills at getting what I needed while keeping things happy on the home front. At the time I was closing in on 40 years old but still had the libido of a 16yo! Like today, I was fit back then and while not a gym rat, I didn’t hesitate to take my shirt off to mow the lawn. I’m the nice-neighbor kind of guy who has a better than average Dad-Bod. I’m white with an olive complexion, 5’9” and just about 160 pounds, lots of dark hair, green eyes and have a wiry build. So back then I joined an online “alternative” adult dating site. Pretty soon after I got way more than I bargained for! Within a couple days of posting my profile, this girl … a 29-yo woman at the time … she answered my ad. I looked up her profile and it said something about her deep need to be punished. “Well, that’s kind of twisted,” I remembered thinking. I didn’t know anything about Doms and Subs.
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