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They didn’t understand all that they were truly doing to me. He didn’t understand all that he had done. I was tired of fighting this forever losing battle. So I was going to do what I had thought of often. But even though I thought of it often, I never really thought I would do it. But things change. I’m ready now. People say that those who take their own life are cowards, but in truth they are strong, for it takes a lot of strength to endure what they do for as long as the can. It also takes great courage to go as far as taking your own life. But I am at that point. No, I do not consider myself to be strong or courageous, I consider myself to be tired and worn down to nothing. I am not who I once was. I step closer to the ledge, thinking about my family one last time. Thinking of them how they were, before everything happened to tear us apart. Suddenly the roof door opens, and a man steps out. He doesn’t see me, but I can see him just fine. His face is like a vision from a dream, so. I checked before I went to bed and they were all curled up together asleep. I wondered if she would be ever back as my wife or would I lose her to Paul, Colm or Benji.After eight weeks Paul changed the pups for another pair and she was in tears as they were taken away, because she was really attached to them. She soon accepted the new pups and carried on as a good mother to them. She has spent eight months now as a bitch and I could see her arse and tits had got bigger, her nipples were at least an inch and a quarter long. Brutus used her a least once each day and the dogs used both her and Brutus. Each morning when they were taken for their walk the lads would use her before putting her back in the kennel. Over the next four months Paul changed the pups twice more, this meant she had fed eight pups during her stay. Paul phoned and said there was fifty thousand pounds in our account and thought Joan had earned a break after twelve months as a bitch. He asked me to come to the kennels.
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