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"Hi, Henny," she said, using the old nickname. "What's up?" I'm sad." Why sad?" I can't go over to Kate's any more." Why not?" Mommy won't say, but I think it's about a dream I had." Oh? What did you dream?" Mommy says I'm not supposed to tell." You can tell me." Nope, she said not to."Tara made a connection in her mind. "Is it the one about Kate's dad and his thingie?"Hannah's eyes went wide. "How'd you know about that?" I heard you telling Kate about it last weekend. That's the dream, right?" Um, yeah, how'd you know?" It just made sense somehow." Why can't I go to Kate's house because of a dream?"Tara didn't have a good answer to that, but it got her thinking. She approached her mother as she was doing dishes, explaining how she knew about the secret dream."So why can't she go to Kate's house?" You shouldn't worry about anything like that, Tara. We'll work it out." Yeah, but Hannah loves Kate. Why can't she see her?" I said, it's not something you need to worry about." Ah, c'mon,. But I wasworking towards the Alex Moore end.I'd been good to those around me.By which I meant the other patients and staff.I was never cruel or violent like I once had been.Sometimes I'd hoped Dr Black would be proud of me.The hardest part of my delusions to give up was Kevin Moore.It was so nice to imagine I had someone who cared about me.It wasn't lost on me the silliness that even though this was my makebelieve world that I could set all the rules in I still couldn't bringmy fictional husband to love me. Something to do with my lack of selfesteem or belief in my self worth and so forth.At least that's what Dr Black thought.I wondered some times, perhaps even wished, that I would find my ownKevin Moore in the real world.Really love someone. And be loved.Warily, but maybe wisely, I suspected that the mediocre indifferenceand convenience that I felt towards Tim was as close as I may ever get.So it wasn't a teary goodbye when I parted ways with him on mydeparture day."We should catch.
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