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His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, ‘You’re cute... ‘ The wife was disappointed because instead of ‘beautiful, ‘ it was now ‘cute.’She asked, ‘What happened to beautiful?’The man replied, ‘The drugs are wearing off.’A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’ The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’ The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’ The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’ The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that ... You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The. Driving to Belleville, they talked and discovered they’re not related, only incredible look-a-likes. Sandra mentioned she has a sixteen-year-old daughter who lost part of her right leg in the same accident that claimed her husband’s life. Susan told her about her no-good husband and how Dan fucked her so he could catch them. She also said she has a boy who will be sixteen in July.“As far as I’m concerned we are sisters, perhaps, very close sisters,” Sandra suggested placing a hand high on Susan’s exposed leg.“I agree, very, very close sisters who happen to share the same man,” she added guiding Sandra’s hand higher.“We are going to be having so much fun!”Dan parked at the Quinte Mall and stepping from the Mustang, he felt his balls hanging several inches below the hem of his hoodie.“I figure we’ll have about half an hour to model some sexy clothes and see if we can get a rise out of Dan,” Sandra explained as they walked.The girls held his hands so he couldn’t check how much of him.
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