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I remember the first step I took in trying to get my friends Grandfather to notice me. I was so nervous, I’m sure it was just me, but I could feel the sexual energy in the room. I felt light headed and dizzy in anticipation of what I was about to do. It wasn’t a great plan, but it at least was a plan. I was going to spill something on his crotch, then fall to my knees as if in an effort to clean him off, and touch is cock through his pants. I was very young, that was the best idea I could come up with.I had played it out many times in my mind, and I had stroked myself off many times thinking about it. Now was my chance. As he sat sat on his couch, I walked over to him, nervous and shaking, and spilled my water all over his lap. Just like I had imagined, he stood up in shock and also just like I imagined in instinctively fell to my knees before him. My hands trembled as I began to towel him off as I apologized. My heart was pounding as I moved my hand to his crotch. He tried to stop. We had our fun, but we were good kids and I wouldn’t let things go too far. It would have been so easy to just slip off into the woods and let nature take its course but I was desperately afraid of becoming pregnant. In 1966, birth control was all but unknown to us. We didn’t even have easy access to condoms.I guess everything changed when Darnell got drafted.If you visit the Viet Nam memorial in Washington, DC, you’ll find over fifty-five thousand names. Over half of the deaths were kids under twenty-one years old. Darnell was one. One summer when Betts was at horse camp and Brian was at science camp, we took a trip to the nation’s capital. I watched as Hayden searched the wall for the name of his best high school friend. When he found it, he sat in front of the wall and cried for nearly an hour.The news that Darnell wasn’t coming home changed Hayden. Darnell was his best friend, a kind soul. He’d been drafted but went into the medical corps. It was so unfair that he was out there.
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