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I ran down the front hallway to catch the driver just as Dan shut the door behind him. He turned to walk towards me, box in hand. ‘I think I’ve seen a porno that started just. Like. This.’ Dan sauntered towards me with the pizza box held at crotch height and he flapped the lid. ‘Did you just pay for that?’ I asked dumbly. ‘No, I picked it up off the street. Of course I paid for it. What do you think I did?’ ‘I was supposed to buy that.’ ‘Think of this as a welcome dinner, ok? Come on, let’s eat.’ Dan dropped the pizza box unceremoniously on to the kitchen counter and opened the lid. It seemed unspoken that we didn’t need plates or cutlery. We dug in straight away, each of us taking a slice and devouring it in silence. It was only after I had finished my first slice that I looked at my greasy hands and realised I didn’t have any napkins for us to wipe our hands. I looked down at my tank top but Dan must have realised what I was thinking and interrupted my thought process. ‘Wait…’ Dan. I gasped as I exploded into my mother’s womb. My cork popped, planting my seed deep within her. I knew somehow that my first task for Lucy was complete. Somewhere inside her, the first steps leading to a new life began. I slipped out of her, leaning back against the wall with a thud. There was a lot of blood on me, and I was a little freaked out. Mom laid a comforting hand on my shoulder and said ‘I’m sorry about that honey, it’s just that I haven’t had any since your dad died and things got a little out of hand. Your grandmother told me to wait, because a special man was going to come along, and I should get ready for him. Never dreamed it would be you.’ ‘Don’t worry Mom, that was amazing, let’s just try for less blood next time.’ ‘What makes you think there will be a next time, young man? And you probably should call me Claudia after what we did. You aren’t supposed to do that with your Mom.’ ‘Well, Claudia, it seems like we did do it, and if I really am the special man Grandma.
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