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“Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me”, says an obviously embarrassed Mick, “but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.I took a bird back to mine for sex last night. After some complaints for the first five minutes like,”Stop, you’re too big!” And,”Please No, you’re really hurting me now!” The fat cow eventually rolled off me and let me go on top.As I staggered into the living room and sat down on the sofa, my wife looked at me and said, “Can you not just go out and have a couple of fucking drinks?”“Of course I can,” I replied, standing back up. “Just let me get my coat.When my precious little dog fell in the river Mersey, a German tourist jumped in the freezing water and saved him.Upon getting back on the pier, he checked my puppy out and said, “Ze dog is ok, he vill be fine.”Out of curiosity I asked, “Are you a vet?”He replied, “Vet? I’m fuken soaked!I have realised. He opened his eyes and saw that her face was inches from his own, likewise dripping and a giggle escaping her lips. “I almost had you, didn’t I?” “No,” she lied. “Tut, tut,” he said, reaching out and touching the tip of her nose, “you keep lying and this will grow, not that it isn’t big enough already.” “Oh is it now?” she laughed. Then his face turned serious as he realised that they were having a moment. Her face was so close to his that he could feel her breath, her gaze was piercing and her eyes had a peculiar shine to them. She still had a soft grip on his forearms and a smile painted on her lips. “No, it’s perfect. Everything about you is perfect.” “You fiend. You insult me and then say that…now how can I stay mad at you when you say something like that?” Should he kiss her? Oh god, what if he kissed her and she didn’t kiss him back? She was sending him all the signals but what if his receiver was broken? They’d had quite a few moments like this and they were becoming more and.
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