We meet our junior year of college. I had just left the rugby team which was a club sport and he was openly gay and had just broke up with a long time boyfriend after he cheated on him. We were both changing and ended changing together. We had common interest like the outdoors. He turned me on to meditation and alot of liberal ideals. Everything about him made me infatuated with him. He has black hair and a permanent five o'clock shadow. An athletic build from yoga and eyes that hypnotized me that were usually hidden behind glasses. Not only athletic but very well read and smart which was what turned me on most about him. I had always considered myself to me straight and never questioned it. After spending alot of time together I began to realize that it didn't feel like a normal feeling of friendship. At no point did i feel confused or frightened. I embraced this feeling and felt no shame. Socially for me it would have been condemned so in alot of ways it was quite taboo for me, but. I'm sorry. I should've been more honest with you from the start," Becca concedes, quietly to herself. She leans over the table, staring directly into Stacy's eyes. "I'm not in love with her or anything. It's not anything like that." Stacy can't stand looking into Becca's eyes. They're too piercing. They're making her want to cry out all of her pent-up emotion. She hangs her head and shuts her own eyes tightly. "I don't understand… why… I mean, if you aren't a prisoner, why don't you just be with me then?" Stacy pleads. "It's… not that simple…" Becca whimpers. Stacy's face drops. It's over… I lose… this isn't fair… it's not right… Becca continues, "I told you… I need that structure in my life… I have to… that's just… who I am. Without it, I'm nothing." Stacy is at the point of tears now. "Well then, what is… this!? What are we? What's the point? Just to make me want you and then take it away from me?" "I don't know…" Becca whines, hanging her head in shame. "I want to be with you.
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