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Chicks dig a tortured artist. When it comes to th bedroom, most men are in it for themselves, their own personal gratification. I know what the ladies like and if they enjoy it, I do.True to form, Roxanne begins to squirm. She twists the hem of her tank top around a finger. Stiffening nipples poke through the fabric. Her legs press together reflexively. My cousin utters a moan, then catches herself. She rolls on her side and tucks her legs up, pulling her feet from my grasp. I can almost see Roxy's face glowing red in the dark living room. It gets really quiet as the credits role."You have sex yet?" she asks suddenly.I admit to being mildly offended by that particular phrasing. "You have to ask?" Well, I always had you pegged for the thirty-year-old virgin type," she counters, the sharpness returning to her tone."You wound me, dear cousin. To answer your question: Yeah, a couple times now." In the dim illumination of the television, I come to the conclusion that red hair is the only. At my daughter's insistence, I'd entered this marvelous new age where you didn't have to actually answer the phone. You could listen to who was calling explaining why they were calling. Mostly they were wanting to make a reservation, and mostly going ahead and making them on the tape of my machine.The machine clicked on. The message began. "Quit pretending you're modern. Like, how many calls a week do you have to screen anyway?"It was my daughter Christy, so I quickly picked up. "Shut up! I'll have you know that I'm constantly getting calls from Heads of States and Hollywood Actresses. If I didn't screen all of my calls, I'd have to actually talk to those sorry fuckers!" Daddy! Language, please!" It was our joke. I was born with a dirty mouth, but I'd kept it well in check once I had a daughter. It became a habit. Though once in awhile I'd spew out some nasty words. When the hammer hits your supporting thumb instead of the nail-head. But Christy, that apple dropped right next to the.
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