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Mix ’em together in hot water. Then, add a couple atomic fireballs, and roll them around like the marble in a spray-paint can. I’ve also learned, at the window in the room halfway down that horror-movie hallway, that in order to get enough of what you want or need, you have to barter. Prison commissary only allows so much per section. Ten-ish snacks. 20-ish drink mixes per week. Get ten coffee, then you don’t have enough hot cocoa to make it decent. You can barter for more than coffee. Portraits of loved ones, drawn with stubby pencils, eight-by-ten, and from snapshots sent in letters, can be had for a couple of candy bars. Snickers are popular. There are some amazing artists in prison. I’ve seen a rose made out of toilet paper. It was incredible. Beautiful. Who woulda thunk it? I hate that I have to visit him through a glass wall. He’s lost weight, and he’s lost one of two consumable vices. Coffee-vice is allowed, cigarette-vice is not. Bittersweet facts of life. I know who. He was a kindly man, somewhat diffident. Finally he spoke."John," he said, "You need some roots. You had your work, but that's gone. You have no hobbies. You have no wife or children. You are disconnected from life."I could feel the truth in what he said. "But roots?" I asked. "Where do you find roots?" You might try to find your father's people in--where is it?--Cleaver's Mills," he replied. "That's a start. Go from there."I nodded. That made a kind of sense. My father had died when I was 10, of what and how my mother never spoke. I learned over the years never to ask about him, for the pain it caused her. So I knew almost nothing about him, his life, his family, indeed nothing much about Cleaver's Mills on the Mist River.My stepfather assured me that he would be fine if I left him. So I drew out a bundle of cash, got the BMW serviced, threw some clothes into a bag and left.It was only several hundred miles to Cleaver's Mills, but I had the sense of entering an older time. The towns.
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