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Was he that much better than me? Is he so good that what I have is beneath him? Is that why I’m allowed to keep her? Eric was a man I loved though. Not a homosexual sort of love, I didn’t want to kiss him anymore than I want to kill him. Hell I think I might enjoy killing him when all is said and done but that is just because I get like that when I’m frustrated. Like now as I look frantically around the alley for anything that would make a good weapon and settle on a nice two by four half sticking out of one of the trashcans. He sees what I see, wants what I want and for a moment we both pause waiting for the other to move. It’s a familiar feeling for me, waiting for the other to move. Waiting to get the call that he finally fucked my girlfriend silly or for Sam to call teasing me about how much better he was at cuddling in the afterglow. The thing is I wouldn’t mind, somehow it stopped mattering a long time ago. I love Samantha completely, I want her happy and I want her in my life.. ... and she introduced me to this. Even though I was slippered and caned on the bottom at school (a long time ago... and sometimes on the bare bottom if it happened in ‘Swimming’... see my story ‘In at the deep end’ ) and now I come to remember those days, realise that I derived a state of sexual excitement from it, I had always seen myself as a ‘dominant’ rather than a ‘switch’ as an adult.... but Alexa has taught me something about myself which I had been unaware of for many years.... that spanking a woman’s bottom makes me want to fuck her but having her spank my bottom as well makes me want to FUCK FUCK FUCK HER RIGID.... GOD... IT MAKES ME WANT TO FUCK HER, SPANK HER AND FUCK HER AGAIN..... Just the act of writing this has given me such a stiffy that I will have to pause and give myself some relief while I think about spanking her arse and giving her a good seeing to in every available orifice....... but I digress.... She spanked my bottom for some five minutes over my.
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