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There is nothing sexual about this vision, this dream of happiness. It is very sensual, and incredibly loving, but his only thought is to chase away my troubles and drive back my fears, not sex. Just as I see myself sobbing and howling away the pain of life in these visions that Payne brings me, I find my own face wet. This is when I waken, leaving the half-dream that had brought those precious moments of peace behind, and now I am free to shed my own tears. I can wail and sob and cry – I can howl and lament to my hearts content. I have a reason – Payne has shown me what my soul aches for yet again, and once more reality reminds me of how far away these dreams are. This knowledge, this denial of what my spirit demands, unleashes a flood of emotions and desires that rage through me until I have utterly exhausted myself. Now, overcome with fatigue in every sense of the word, I can finally let sleep overtake me. Gone is the turmoil of the previous day, gone are the worries of tomorrow –. I could just see her eyes and I knew from her look that if I didn’t comply that I was in for an even much more horrible time that I already was. So I gagged and swallowed, but was able to keep most of it in my mouth and down my throat. She finally finished and got off me. That is when I knew I was going to throw up. She looked at me while I was gagging and pointed to a trash can where I disposed of the contents of my stomach.After a couple of minutes, she handed me another glass of some liquid and told me to drink it, which I did. I had already begun to feel somewhat strange from the first glass and wondered what kind of drugs they were giving me, but if they allowed me to get through this night, I didn’t care.“OK Bitch, get your fat white ass on this table and make sure everyone enjoys looking into your cunt and asshole. And that means, you keep your finger in one or the other and show them to all these niggers. Do you get it Bitch?”I nodded my head and started to climb onto the.
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