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He had become more comfortable with his new body, but he still found it hard to deal with the loss of his manhood.What he found most difficult to adjust to was the way that other people reacted to him. Men seemed to want to help him, as if he wasn't capable of performing any task. At first he had thought it was because of his injury, but even now that he was well on the way to recovery, he was still treated the same.Even worse was the way men ogled his body. It was quite a beautiful body, Paul knew. His own reactions to being mentally undressed by every passing man were a little schizophrenic. On the one hand, he was embarrassed and angry, but on the other he treated it as a compliment. On several occasions when he had been dozing in his hospital room he had wondered what it would be like to make love with a man who truly cared for him.He was going to have to get used to these feelings. Anne had explained that because he had a totally female brain and feelings, his mental state would. I think Linda sees that I am very surprised and unhappy at what she tells me, for she asks do we not also have wars.“We do not war on other men for differences that are small and unimportant,” I say. “If we war, it is against the things that may hurt all of us that are not of people. We war against big fire, against water that may flood us, against the things that are the enemy of all. To live is hard enough for us, we do not make it more hard still by being enemies of ourselves. I think perhaps it is that you make living too easy with the many things that you have, that you must make difficulties for yourselves.”She is nodding her head as I speak. “You might well be right,” she says when I finish. “But this is the world today, now. We can’t change it, so we have to live in it.”“How then may I get this ID that is so important, to show that I am allowed in this place, this country?” I ask.“Danny and I are working on that,” she answers. “We’ll find a way. But first we need to know how.
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