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I woke up after some time, by hearing the door bell ringing. I went & opened the door! To my surprise uncle!!! Oh my God!! my whole body was freezing.He behaved very normally and asked how is my head ache. I Answered, “It has come down”. Then all of a sudden he went to kitchen & came back with two glasses of juices. Even before telling anything he gave once glass to me and started sipping from the other! He asked to me take seat & sat in the sofa in the drawing room. He started talking to me casually and he behaved extra decently. I started feeling comfortable.Then he switched on the TV and started to scan few channels. I was feeling delicate to request him to relieve me as I wanted to go and take rest. But I was also scared to go to bedroom also.May be after some time, I started feeling a difference in my mind and body – Am I sleepy? NO? but some other feeling. I went to toilet, I felt like something is happening to me. I started to feel sexually aroused. I wanted to press my own. .."My dad was always telling me I would never amount to anything. I neededto work harder if I was going to get into a good university like him.Some boys fight back as they have a point to prove. Other boys like mecame to accept that we did not measure up, that we did not have what ittakes, that we weren't good enough to be men like our fathers.As well as not measuring up to my father intellectually I also did notmeasure up to him physically. Dad would beat me. He would say he waspunishing me even though I hadn't done anything wrong. I remember thishappening on a few occasions so I would always fear incurring myfather's wrath. I was not only careful about what I said but what Ithought because I could hear my father's voice inside my head and myfather was therefore always with me, omniscient and omnipresent likeGod.When I hear Christians talk about "Father God" it makes me think thatthey must have had a different experience of childhood from me as whoneeds a religion to bring you.
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