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Locking myself in my bedroom, I carefully slipped into abubblebath, enjoying every minute as I lay there soaking, then began toget dressed. Neither of my parents knew what I was wearing, and eventhough they had seen Susan every day for almost a month, I was positivethey would be shocked. Starting with the white almost a thong panties,pantyhose without the thicker and darker panty, and my white corset, Ilaced myself down as far as I could stand, then stepped into the bathingsuit portion of the outfit and pulled it up.After making sure that I had plenty of cleavage, I pulled the skirt on,moved the slit to the side, and stepped into the shoes. Gold and whiteearrings, a small rhinestone choker and tennis bracelet to match,lipstick in bright red, and perfume to finish. I couldn't stop myselffrom looking, reveling in the way I looked. I opened my bedroom door andstepped out, saw nobody in sight, then went to the familyroom. Barelyable to stand up, dad did just that, while mom's eyes went. I saved my questions for a time when I could ask them to someone I trusted.Most of the way home, I felt terrible. My penis was still buzzing from all the attention, but mentally, I was a bit of a wreck. I felt very conflicted about what had happened to me. A blowjob might have meant nothing to Riley, and it certainly meant nothing to Dana, but it was my first, and so it meant quite a lot to me. I couldn't deny that it felt amazing as it was happening, but as soon as we were back in the car, I was hit by a massive wave of guilt, and then shame. I didn't know where the emotions were coming from, but I knew this wasn't a healthy way to be introduced to sex.I couldn't identify what value I was judging myself against - purity? normalcy? - but I knew that my father would be disappointed in me if he knew, and that hurt. I had done nothing wrong, and yet felt like I'd let everyone down. Should I have refused Riley? Said "No thanks?" Stoically pushed her away from my dick? I couldn't imagine.
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