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“How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather trustingly.“Well,” she said, responding very carefully, “I’d have to say that I would like it infrequently.”The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment. Then looking over his glasses, he casually asked, “Was that one word, or two?”The Office PartyJohn, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.“Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?”“Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”“He’s an asshole,” John said. “Piss on him.”“You did,” came the reply. “And he fired you.”“Well, screw him!” said John.“I did. You’re back at work. I said, "I have to visit two building sites to reconfigure their ITsystems. They are in porta-cabins and I will be bloody freezing allday." To bad you don't wear tights; they would keep you warm" said Victoria.That shook me, as I looked up I saw that it had shaken her too. After10 seconds of inaction she reached into a drawer and handed me a brandnew pair of 60 denier opaque black tights. She said nothing and neitherdid I. I hesitated for a moment and then took the offered packet. Iwas greatly pleased that Victoria stepped out of the bedroom at thatmoment.I sat on the bed and having watched my wife do this many times pulledthe tights over my legs and set them snug about my waist. For just amoment I relished the feel of the fabric on my legs. Wow! Then Ipulled on socks and trousers. When I got downstairs Victoria ran herhands over my butt. "Mmm," was all she said. My trousers had more roomthan normal. As I slipped my shoes on Victoria observed."Socks as well I see." Yes, I.
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