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I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait.At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to. " She turned around and left my room. This time, she remembered not to slam my door. I looked at my door, trying to process all that she had told me. It was a little before eight o'clock when I looked at my watch. I went out in the hallway and dialed Clara's number. She answered the phone after only one ring."Clara, what is going on with you and Kate?" Nothing, what do you mean?" She claims that you made her some promises to her, about the movies, and about doing things with me." What promises?" She said you weren't going to let me do anything with you at the movies, unless some boy did them to her too." That isn't what I said." She also said you promised not to do it with me unless someone was doing it to her at the same time." I tried to tell you about that earlier. I told you that was before you told me you loved me." I told Kate she had to sit next to me at the movies. That was because my mom made me responsible for her there. That's when she told me about the promise you had made.
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