She picked another movie, same scenario as the last one for me so I just pretended to watch the movie and just looked at her out of the corner of my eye. I just couldn't get over how amazing she looked. I felt her move slightly and looked down to see her looking up at me, our eyes met and we held that position for what felt like hours which was probably a mere 10-15 seconds just gazing into each others eyes. She smiled at me and I smiled back and all the while I was feeling bold and decided to take a chance. I leaned down and gave her a quick gentle kiss on the lips, as soon as my lips made contact with hers I immediately regretted my decision. As I pulled away I was expecting to see shock on her face and then was waiting for her to slap me across the face. Instead, I noticed that she was smiling even more and she was giggling slightly. Before I knew it she was leaning up towards me and pulling me in for another kiss, this time it lasted a lot longer than the last and I was. I reachedup to the shelf and took down my clarinet case, opened the lid and tookit out. I ran my hands down it and sighed, this did belong to me andhad no business in the wardrobe of a stranger and I smiled, turnedaround and went to the street door."That the lot?" asked Paul. "Just these few bits and bobs?" I suspect there will be other things I will want to keep but nothing Iyearn for. Paul, this is the flat of a stranger, I feel like anintruder." I picked up the laptop. "Can you manage the rest?" and Iwalked away and didn't feel any regret.I remained silent in the car for the first ten minutes and Paul left meto my thoughts. Eventually I stirred. "There is one fear I have now." What's that?" I am frightened that something will happen to change me back to the wayI was. Paul, when I walked into that apartment, I felt nothing, nolonging, no regrets, nothing. I want to keep what I am now and amterrified that I will wake up one morning and want to go back to thatplace, that.
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