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Each of my former loves brought much to my life, but took even more when they left. The fury I felt when Beth Ann was killed, matched the dark anger that drove me to revenge Benjamin’s murder. When Rebecca ended her life, the pain was staggering, but each time there were others in my life to help me make the transition. This time the loneliness was my personal demon. It ate at me and wore though my defenses like a never-ending wind that cut and ripped non-stop at my soul.If it weren’t for Charger, I wonder if I’d have found the courage and strength to go on. He needed me because I provided those things he couldn’t live without. I depended on him because his love was without conditions, demands, or frustrations. We were rarely separated. If I went somewhere he went, too. When I settled down on the bed to read, or watch a ball game, he jumped up and cuddled.It was what he did.God or the universe provided him for me, because I needed him. God or the universe knew things I didn’t and. 'We will march to a place of trial, where you will be questioned and judged. You will not enjoy it, but it is the will of Allah, ' said Hakim. 'March, Christian pigs!' he ordered, slapping a whip painfully along the flanks of the first three captives. And off they marched.Barefooted on rough ground, over muddy places and knee-deep in fast-flowing streams. Blisters and cuts soon developed and when one of the prisoners stumbled and knocked the whole column down, all were set upon with by the sticks, whips and belts of their guards. Added humiliation was heaped upon them in the form of having to perform their bodily functions were they stood, still tied together. They found themselves standing and walking in pools of what was normally passed in a sterile restroom.Given little water and less food, the captives were marched for three days, with only the briefest of pauses during the daylight hours. Finally, with the sun sending rivers of sweat coursing down their nude, sunburned white.
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