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Mostly, I felt despair. Fucked up again. The evidence was quite clear. "Clear," in fact, described the result perfectly. Virtually no detail at all in the negatives. Nothing. Zilch. Nothing I could salvage, even with the hardest highest-contrast paper I could find. It was hopeless. I felt like shit. Like failure. Dad wouldn't have approved, I'm sure of that.Just a fuckup. That's what it felt like and that's what it was. So, no, I didn't cry, but I felt like it. I solved it the way I'd solved so many similar things over the years: I cut it out of my life. I told myself it was because I was bored with it, that I hated darkroom work, that I was only doing it because Dad did it and my brother the jerk did it, and I didn't really want to do it, anyway.That wasn't entirely true, though. The fact is that while I was no Ansel Adams, I got some pretty good results. Mostly in portraits, now and then in a landscape. Lee was my primary subject in the early years, no surprise there, and our kids. Cross was reluctant to leave his angel of the lake, but he knew that he must. ‘I would like to see you again,’ he told her. ‘I will be back at Emerald Lake tomorrow by dawn’s break. Meet me there if you will.’ ‘I don’t know if I can, but I will try’. she said. ‘That is all that I can ask for.’ he replied as he kissed her hand, bending down low as a sign of respect for her. Shocked as this gesture, and at his long blonde hair brushing the back of her hand, she gasped. Then he was gone. Jamara met Cross that next morning at Emerald Lake, where they spent most of the day talking. They spent every free moment they had in the world of their own making, under the ancient weeping willow tree where they had met. Time had no meaning for them, only the words of love that they spoke to one another. As the seasons changed, the thought of war changed into planning and strategy. Finally before anyone could fathom, the war between the fairies and the elves happened. Cross was put into the position.
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