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He has his new family. Nothing against his wife or kid. Lord knows they tried to convince him to spend more time with you but something about you being a part of his old family makes him withdrawn from you. She said.She didnt wait for his response. Then she said it. You had to find out one day but during the divorce your dad was gonna sign full custody of you to me. He wanted that way. She turned and and looked at Bill,I had to beg him to take you for weekends. In return he wouldnt have to pay me child support… No boy should have to grow up with out his father. Bill was even more confused but why would he just give me up like that? He finally managed to say. When our marriage started to fail he gave up on it and everything that was apart of our marriage. She said. She patted his knee and told him, he gave up on me and you. Dont get me wrong he loves you very much and cares about you. He just refuses to show it. It hit Bill then. The way a hammer hits a nail. All the late nights he. Standing there under those playful little jets bouncing off my soapy body, I felt a strange feeling of self-awareness.As if all the explicit events and memories of the last few months were magically merging with things I’d maybe not thought about in years. Or maybe never thought about. Things about Jill and me that maybe I’d always been too frightened to face up to.And this sudden moment of self-realization and clarity left me feeling on a strange emotional high. My mind filled with a mental picture of a man on a high wire above the Niagara Falls. Enjoying the buzz and the adrenaline rush of danger, but aware of the perils that lay below. Realizing that a big part of me had always felt insecure in my relationship with Jill, aware of our start on the rebound and that she could have done better. Another part, hearing her echoing words of how she loved me with all her heart and wouldn’t change a moment of our lives together.In that singular moment of crystallized clarity, I guess I.
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