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We made a deal that she’d call me the next morning, and we’d go shopping for her stuff. The next day, Carole did call me — none too early, I was amused to note. I picked her up in the bimmer, and we went furniture shopping. I don’t know a hell of a lot about furniture, but one of the few decent pieces of information I got from Janet, my ex, was where the good stuff could be found. I took Carole there. She tried to buy the cheapest stuff in the store, but I noticed what she was really looking at. I made a deal with the salesperson while she was looking at the cheap stuff. A few extra bucks changed hands, and the delivery was made that week. Carole moved in. When she saw the new bedroom and studio furniture, she was pissed off. Well, not really, but she told me off in a fond kind of way. She had pitifully few things, barely one load of a minivan, but she soon put her own touch on the place. With just a few little details, Carole made the place special. It felt like her. It was hers. We. I had to know what all thatsilky and wonderful clothing felt like. I had to know what it was liketo wear stockings and high heels and dresses. What started as acuriosity became a compulsion, a compulsion wherein each tentative stepled to the next. Lingerie led to dresses led to high heels led to wigsled to makeup, if you are reading this you know about the evolution of acrossdresser and have likely traveled the same path. There was a freedomand yes a sexual aspect to it.Growing up I was not particularly interested in the standard and overtmacho role nor was I effeminate. I stood in the middle somewhere.Growing up in the 1960's gender roles were massively enforced andstifling; the fear of being outed was palpable. Men's clothing was, andis, purpose driven, rough, confining and restrictive in all aspects; theform and function of it was strictly enforced as though it was auniform. Women's clothing on the other hand was about freedom andbeauty. Men's clothing is boring; women's clothing.
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