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Why would Orla want to stay here instead of the British Virgin Islands? And why was it almost 8am until I could make a joke about Orla on any island with the word ‘virgin’ in the name without anyone blubbing? ***** Just before nine, Cat and Diane arrived, in identical maids’ outfits, picked out in a stylish charcoal grey. They had avoided following the cliché of the full French Maid thing, with little aprons and lacy caps, but the flouncy skirts were still ridiculously and deliciously short (and worn over white thigh highs), and the necks dangerously and enticingly scooped. There was a great deal of giggling over the fact they were only decent when standing perfectly upright. There was shrieking when I decided to make them indecent even like that, lifting up the skirts to see what underwear they had on (the answer was none). Then, to my amazement, they cleared up the breakfast things, made the bed and asked where the vacuum was kept. ‘Didn’t we do the whole maid/slave girl thing?’ I. Usually, I’m just like Marvin in Hitchhikers’, but now I felt like an intelligent a****l– and the ‘intelligent’ was ancillary and unused. WOW! I was soooo happy to… FEEL… ALIVE. They came back maybe an hour later. Diana asked me how I was doing and I answered “murmph-murmph”, so she ripped off the tape. OWW! I thought that was unfair. Is was her husband who was supposed to hurt me, not my friend! I said ‘don’t ASK me that anymore, just tell him to DO whatever he wants to me!’ I was actually angry, because I didn’t WANT to be consulted and interviewed while being ****d! We had specifically AGREED that wouldn’t happen and I was wondering if they’d break any other rules (they didn’t). In retrospect, I remember that part of the deal was that she WOULD ask me after the first ‘session’ if I wanted to continue, and if I did, I would be a naked, bound, sex slave, tortured and ****d for for three days, no matter what I said or if I wanted it or not. When I remembered that (days later), I.
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