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But what hurt most about thinking like that was the fact that she really didn't know if never being with Ashlee would have been better than what happened. The first couple months of their relationship had been the best thing that had ever happened to her. Sexually, emotionally and in just about every other imaginable way it was so perfect, but still she'd thrown it all away for reasons she still didn't fully understand. An odd mixture of jealousy over things that hadn't even happened, the fear of loss over what might happen when they were separated, fear of losing herself in the murkiness of her own confused and seemingly incomprehensible sexuality and her need to regain some control over the emotions and feelings that had been building in her ever since she'd had sex with Kelli seemingly just for kicks only to find herself wanting to feel more of what she'd felt that night.It was still all just too overwhelming to even begin to think about and now here she was stoned and tired and. Little did he know that his wife Carol had been giving hints that she wanted me to assist Bill in other family duties, as well. For several weeks Carol had been making comments and doing things that indicated she could be easily had. She made comments such as, "I haven't had a sex life in such a long time." Or she'd say, "I wish I had a lover like you." She frequently asked intimate questions about my activities with my dates. Whenever she passed by, she always let a hand brush my back or my ass. One Friday night, after a tough evening at the race track, we went back to Bill and Carol's home, and I had a few drinks. Neither Bill nor Carol drank that night. Bill was getting ready to return to work. He said they had a rush order to get out. Carol convinced me I had been drinking too much to drive home, and suggested I stay there. She said I could sleep on their couch. Before leaving for work, Bill also told me I should stay. They were probably right. I had consumed a good deal of.
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