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It’s simple. It’s easy. And it’s disastrous. I am capable of things, when I am in that place…” “Tell me,” she said softly, after he’d fallen silent for some time. Rael shrugged. Silmaria sensed he was dredging bits and scraps of memories from someplace long tucked away. “I could easily murder someone, when in that primal and unthinking state, and not think twice about it. And it wouldn’t be out of maliciousness or spite or evil. “It could be because I felt threatened,” he explained. “If I felt threatened, I’d kill the threat. If I were hungry, and I saw food, I would take that food, regardless if it were stealing or wrong, and regardless if I had to hurt someone to get it. I wouldn’t bear the person any ill will, but neither would I care. I have no moral compass, no reasoning when in that state. I have no context to draw on. I simply… am.” Silmaria leaned back against him, her hand reaching up to rest on his cheek. She’d seen that. Seen the primal, instinctive force hiding behind. None of this may show. The final sequence was composed to the Mary-Chapin Carpenter song, "Shut Up and Kiss Me." That shows, I hope.for Sue"Isn't it love that keeps us breathing?Isn't it love we're sent here for?"Many of us pass our lives day to day, waking, dressing, washing, commuting, working, eating, sleeping, occasionally making love or having sex, sometimes crying, sometimes laughing, but all too often experienced as a routine. We often lose sight of the idea of each day being a gift and of seemingly random events as having greater meaning. We take too much for granted.In my work, seeing larger meaning, or even hope, is often very difficult. For thirty years I've worked in the government of a large eastern city. First as an idealistic young program manager, then as a cop, and then after I'd taken a bullet which stopped my "let's-just-chase-the-perp-over-that-20-foot-fence" days, as an operative for the city's Investigation Department. We look out for corruption and for people.
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