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”“Okay, but why?”“I’ll use it to warm the knife before cutting the cake.”Mum made a sound. A grunting, snorting, extremely disdainful sound.“What?”“You’re only a butler on TV, you know. Will you be wearing your white gloves, hmmm?”My mother has once said, after a glass of wine too many, that ‘she didn’t raise me to be a butler’, because she isn’t all that pleased with being known as Carstairs’ mother. I then asked if she raised me to be a Wehrmacht officer, because she doesn’t mind pointing out her son starred in a war movie. She flipped me off for that. And rightly so.“Just a trick I picked up from Paul Hollywood.”“Is he one of your showbiz chums, then?”“I don’t have any showbiz chums, I watch The Great British Bake Off like anybody else.”Kelly joined us in the kitchen. Eighteen years old and she still skipped as she walked, although I suspected that had more than a bit to do with the fact it made her breasts bounce. They stopped bouncing when she stopped walking, because she’s still. I was thinking of renting something, but buying a house makes a lot more sense. I may need some help getting a mortgage though. Maybe I should pay cash for it.”“No, you should get a mortgage. I don’t think you’ll have any trouble, but if you need it, Mom and I can help you and Kelly.”“Dad, do you think you and Mom could come up north once Kelly and I have picked out a few houses? I’d like you two to make sure we’re doing the right thing,” I said.“Mom and I will be glad to, won’t we, honey?”“You bet! I can help Kelly with the decorating if she wants me to,” Mom said.I told mom it would be great. After I finished my coffee, I went to my room to give Kelly a call. We talked for an hour, telling each other how much we loved one another and how we missed each other. Kelly and I kept in touch by phone and email while we were at school, but it wasn’t enough, not for me, not anymore.It was hard for me to keep from telling her about my plan, but I wanted it to be a surprise. I asked Kelly.
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