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When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny, since then he has aged considerably.13. This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.14. This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope, always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.15. Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig16. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.17. He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.18. This Officer should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.19. In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet20. The only ship I would recommend for this man is citizenship.21. Couldn’t organize a woodpecker’s picnic in Sherwood Forest.22. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.23. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.24. Gates are down, the lights are. “Or they might be waiting for an ‘interesting event.’”“I heard the quotation marks,” she said. “Childbirth?”“Cyn was much farther along ... and Zoe would be right behind her,” I said. “Then it would be my turn.” That part of the announcement was tinged with chagrin.“You don’t sound happy,” she said.“The evidence presented in the ear twisting wife or girlfriend has given me reason to think he may have been a cheater.”“Ah ... I see.”Unlike most people, she wasn’t using the ‘I see’ unknowingly. She Knew.”“May I use a phone. I need to make several calls.”“Certainly.” She stepped away from the desk.“Don’t go ... I’ll probably need a witness.”“Ooo ... speakerphone...” she pushed a button... “And recording.”“Why the big grin?” I asked.“Citizens of the big country to the south think their laws apply worldwide. We can record to our hearts content ... and don’t have to notify them we are ... such fun.”“Oh.” Grin.“Lessee ... who is first. Border ... then Pentwater ... for starters.”“Border.
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