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“Guess I’m in too.”With everyone in, I dealt out the rest of the cards but made a show of it. I flipped each card slowly and glanced around the table to see their reactions. Lee was practically sweating, peering at his cards every few milliseconds. Raul chewed on his thumbnail. Damon sat back with a smile. Perhaps he had caught on to what I was doing. Maybe he was confident he’d already won. I dealt the last card. “Time to show, boys.” We all flipped our cards over and I had nothing. Jack diddly.All three of them cheered for a split second, realizing they’d beat me, then they looked at each other’s cards to see who came out on top. As it turns out, Lee had the best hand. Damon leaned over and looked at my cards. “Why did you go all in? That hand is terrible.”I shrugged. “Oops. Guess I’m no good at this game.”He stared at me for a second, then the pieces fell into place and he smiled. “So I win?” Lee asked, his voice giddy. “I think you all win,” I said. “Huh?”“I said anyone who beats. I have had a great life. Please do not mourn for me. Goodbye.As the message came through my brain I began to cry. It did not seem to be possible that this was happening. I just have to pull myself together and not let on that anything is wrong.“Hanna I have to go for a run. I just had another argument with my mother and I need to settle down so that I can do my homework.”“You mean you’re going out running at this time of night?”“I have to do something physically demanding to get my head back on.”“Okay, just don’t be gone too long. I don’t want you to get lost out there.”As I ran through my usual path I kept rolling over his remarks in my mind. I thought it was very courageous of him to keep it all to himself and I could understand why. By the time I returned from the run I had come to accept the reality and knew that I had Karen and Hanna to care for.When Friday arrived I knew that Amy was coming. I had be my real self for both of them. Karen seemed happy to see Amy. “Hey, it’s been.
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