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She was on the second story, and her door was still decorated with the "Happy New Year" crap. She seemed to know when I'd arrived. "Give me the damn pizza and bugger off, Yank." She was beautiful. "Man... you Brits are very... hmm. How to put it....conspicious..." I said, grinning. "Conspicious?? Are you mad? 'ats not even word, Yank!" she said, poking my chest with her middle finger. "I know. But YOU are beautiful." I said, partially awaiting the slap on my cheek. Instead I recieved a wink, giggle, and a slammed door. "Crap!" My chances were smote.By that time, it was nearing 10:30. "SHIT A BRICK! I'M FUCKING LATE!" I exclaimed, as I was late to a show. I hurried to my car, sped to CBGB's, and rushed in. "Justin. Where the fuck have you been?? The first band has already been on." I proceeded to tell Kenny, my neigbor, the story of the sexy British bomb that I met a few minutes ago. "By the looks of it, you just met Salem. She's a regular here." He looked around abit, "Shit, there. . Nuke... NUKE!" thevoice called. It was the sound of Willy Mays Hayes calling me. And hespoke, saying, "Take down these words which I speak before you today,take them to the Israelite people, show them the way to the promisedland."... (Opps, wrong book, sorry!) I looked out my bedroom window andsaw a house burning down, it was a sign from above. (Or maybe from thedelinquent teens who live down the block.) Anyhow he spoke: "Let youwrite down my words for forty days and forty nights and when all isdone, show only half of what I have told you on BigCloset and let theother half waste away on your hard drive, never to be posted, angeringthousands of readers, ha ha ha!"* And for the next thirty nine days Ilounged around and did nothing except eat and watch the "Jerry SpringerShow." On the fortieth day I wrote this and Hayes saw that it was goodand he spoke from on high (Or maybe he was just high, I don't remember.)saying, "Let this see light." He gave a long pause. "Bbut only after.
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