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As I said, I knew that I would attract men, especially when I beganpaying better attention to my looks. Eventually, maybe out ofcuriosity, or maybe with my female hormones beginning to swamp theremnants of my male personality, I began to accept invitations todates. I met quite a few men on my trips, but having met them before,as a man. I had a good idea of their personalities and I quicklybrushed off any who were married, and those who I knew had personalproblems. Even so, my first dates were disasters as I was uneasy withclose physical contact. I think the men sensed it and after one or twodates they did not ask me out again, or I gently broke therelationships.However, I gradually got better at relaxing and began to look forwardto male company. I moved from apprehension to satisfaction and I'd evenget butterflies in my stomach when getting ready for dates, just aswhen I was a man. I dated Ron for several weeks. He was a manager at alarge office in the city. I liked him but when he. It had been very difficult keeping that gun from being found. He had to keep hiding it in different places when the nurses came into the room to do things. Under his pillow wasn’t a safe place when they changed the sheets. In the drawer was safe until they started straightening up his stuff.Sonny said, “I’ll never forget that night when the three gang members came into my room. I was just lying there, wide-awake in the dark room, thinking about the robbery. The only light was from the window and it wasn’t much. When the door opened, I knew there was a problem. I can’t tell you why I knew that ... just that I did. Maybe it was the noises they were making were wrong, or the smell of them was off. I really don’t know. I grabbed the gun and hid it under the sheet.“When the first one pulled out his piece, I brought that gun up and shot him dead center of the chest. I can tell you that the other two were surprised as hell. They stood there looking at the guy I shot for what felt like.
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