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Don’t even agree. Just play dead.Yes officer, I didn’t see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you!This group is compliments of Alan B.Still more hand-picked lousy humor...Why is a woman like a condom? Because both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently “Your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.The teacher asked Jimmy, “Why is your cat at school today, Jimmy” Jimmy replied, crying, “Because I heard my dad tell my mom ‘I’m going to eat that pussy when Jimmy goes to school today’”“Babe, is it in?” “Yeah” Does it hurt?” “Yes” “Let me put it in slowly” “It still hurts” “Okay, let’s try another shoe size.”I asked a Chinese girl for her phone number, She said “Sex sex sex! Free sex tonight.” I said, “Wow” Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629”A husband came home with a half gallon of ice cream. He asked his wife if she. We started talking about the Scout Oath and Law. I decided I should come clean to the board. I told them about getting Crystal pregnant. I explained what happened, how I'm going to keep my kids and raise them with Mom's and Dad's help. We talked about what morally straight meant to me. I admitted that I hadn't lived up to the standards that were expected. The best I could do now was accept responsibility for my mistake and do my best to take care of my kids. They seemed impressed that I had agreed with the guidance counselor at school to meet with 8th grade health classes next year to talk about my experience as a teenage father." When did you decide to do that?" I asked."I have been talking with my guidance counselor at school for the last month. She thought this might help younger students from making the same mistake I made," Andy explained."Wow, I'm impressed. That's good, Andy." They sent me outside for 45 minutes while they conferred. They called me back in, congratulated me.
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