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”“Um..When did you...You know start looking like this?”“You mean when did I transition to being a woman?”“Yes, ma’am.”“I began living as a woman when I was 24. During the summer after my second year of medical school.”“Was it hard?”“Sometimes yes. But I felt much better.”“How did you grow...You know...Tits?”“You can say ‘breasts’. It’s okay. I took hormone pills to give my body more estrogen like born women have.”“Dang.”“You okay, Coree?”The k** thought for a moment. “Yeah, ma! I’m good. There’s somehtin’ I wanna know.”“Just ask, sweetie. You can tell me anything.”“Seriously?”“Always. What’s on your mind?”“I googled it.”“Googled what?”“Transgender.”“Did you find anything interesting?”“Yeah, it said it’s called gender dis-fu-REE-uh.”“Yes, gender dysphoria.”“It said y’all have different brain chemistry than regular men.”Rochelle listened.Coree continued, “Then I looked at some other sites.”“That’s good. You’re a thirteen year-old. You should be seeking out info,” Rochelle tried to. ” He smiled. His teeth were barely on the yellowed side of white. For the first time, I saw the full color of his thick brown beard and sunburnt skin. Traces of grey misted his side burns. “If I was a fighter, I’d be sober.”I imagined him happy and healthy. Beard and hair well groomed, his angrily sunburnt skin back to olive. Laughing with me, loving me the way I needed. Carrying on deep conversations, giving back to people who were still in the worst parts of their lives. Safe together, a perfect life. Feeling the backs of my eyes swell with tears, I rolled over away from him and got up. Snatched up my sweats and Corey’s T-shirt from the stained, fraying blue carpet and yanked them on.“I love you, you know,” he murmured, making me freeze. “If I could, I’d get sober for you. But you can only fake something for so long before you become what you always were. You know that. I’m destined to fail you.”“You’re a scientist. You don’t believe in destiny. Life is chosen,.
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