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But he knew if he did so now, it would be a short won victory for him. He needed to control himself, and just take her one step at a time, and before too much time has passed she would be begging him for mercy and to please, please take her. That and the wonderful ride to that point was going to be the true prize he must move slowly and carefully toward. So, leaving Emma blindfolded, he laid down on the bed, on his side, beside her, and began again to caress her with his fingers, almost like feathers fluttering over her trembling body. His first touch, even though Emma had felt him beside her, made her jolt, and moan out. Up and down her arms and legs, massaging her hands and feet, then quivering over her stomach and thighs, he went. From the start she kept lifting herself to him, silently begging for his touch which was not coming to where she longed for it. The vibrator had done its job well earlier, she knew where it could take her, even if Emma hadn’t been allowed to reach. Seeing her breasts floating on the surface with wave after wave gently lapping at her delicate flesh was firing up hormones inside of me that I never even knew I had.“Marcus, please tell me ... why did you try to kill yourself?”“I thought you read the note.”“I want to hear it from you,” she whispered desperately.I sat down on the edge of the tub and was silent for several moments. “There are people all over the world who suffer worse than I do: infants dying of starvation, kids used as sex slaves, adults forced to watch as their families suffer with nothing over their heads but the roof of their hut. I admit, even my life could be far worse than it is now, but there is a key difference between those people and me: they are capable of being happy. They have the will to live and the ability to smile. Me ... there is nothing in this world that can bring me joy, I am physically incapable of being happy.For most of my life, I have not known what happiness feels like. Even as a child, I.
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