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‘Hi Carol. Hi Mom,’ I said as I hugged his mother, not realizing how I had addressed her. If she or Woody noticed, they did not react. Carol, of course, was not going to let it slide. ‘Mom, huh? Did you guys get married on the way here?’ Quick-witted Woody quipped, ‘Damn, the cat’s out of the bag.’ Gullible to the nth degree, his mother cried, ‘You did?’ She looked hurt, not because she didn’t want me for a daughter-in-law, but because it would have meant she missed the joyous ceremony. ‘Y’all stop teasin’ her,’ I admonished them and hugged her again. ‘I love you like a mom. I feel too formal calling you Mrs. Sherdak and too young to call you Arlene.’ ‘Call me Mom all you want, honey. I like it.’ Carol and Mom were the only ones on the beach. ‘Dad’, Eric, and Jerome were out water skiing. Mom didn’t like riding in the boat except for slow cruises, Carol was restricted from the potentially bouncy ski runs because of her condition. They were to tell me later she could slalom ski but. The best man and groomsmen stood around listening in disbelief to the advice being given by the two men.As part of the groom’s party, Stephen yanked on the collar of his shirt thinking that somewhere in this world lived a sadist who was laughing evilly at the success his diabolical scheme for making men miserable through the instrument of torture known as a tuxedo. The only one who looked more miserable than he felt was Leland. It was unclear if the source of Leland’s unhappiness was the tuxedo, the lecture on how to have a happy marriage being delivered by Magus, or a combination of the two.“The correct answer to the frequent question, ‘Does this outfit make my butt look too big?’ is ‘All I know is that it makes me want to play with your butt all day.’ While saying that, you should firmly grasp said butt and knead vigorously,” Magus said. “Not only does it deflect the question, but it can lead, on occasion, to sex.”Oscar chimed in with, “Do not ever make the mistake of saying that.
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