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She knows that I want to have sex and that being a teenager I will find a way to have it when I am ready. So she set me down one night and we had the talk. You know what the talk is don’t you?”“Yes, I know what the talk is. So she is ok with you and I being together?”“Not really. She said that she would rather I had a black boyfriend from school but, she understood. She also said that maybe it would be a good idea as she really likes you and trust you. She said that she felt that you would not mistreat me in any way and would more then likely take your time with me when the time came. That’s when she started telling how to please a man and we both started looking up porn sights so that I could see just what other women are doing out there to please their man. She also tolled me about dad and some of the other men she has had in her life, good as well as bad.”“So, did you guys get all hot when you were looking at these sights?”“Yes, very. And mom showed me how to take care of that. French maidoutfits, men's suits, pvc, lace and leather.... But that was some timeago and long behind her. Liberty was a psychiatrist now and I was herboyfriend."Wait a minute! This is ridiculous, Dad. You are 100 miles away. Youhave no idea where I am or where I am going," I told my him in my head,knowing I would never say this to him in real life. How had I come tothink Dad was omnipresent?It was then I suddenly realised that I had been having these conversationswith my father for as long as I could remember.Dad died around two days later.A week later I lost my job.I didn't know it then but I realise now that I had depression. It'slogical now isn't it? My manhood was being stripped away from me.That night I rowed with Liberty about something trivial, I have no ideawhat it was now, and she went up to bed. I fell asleep on the sofawatching some stupid reality tv programme which consisted of vacuous minorcelebrities sitting around talking about something which you couldn't.
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