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I should have been happy but even though the sun was bright and warming, and the birds twittered in the trees above, I felt cold inside. I had been arguing with my husband again and had walked away and left him at home. I needed to get away from him for a while, to seek solitude and peace. We argued a lot these days. As I grew older, I am forty-four. I felt there was so much I wanted to do. I had hobbies, interests, I wanted to live life to the full and began to feel that I was leaving him behind, and that he was holding me down, stifling me. I felt I was wading through mud and drowning in my unhappiness. He had no interests. He was sick and couldn't work. He kept the house tidy and clean but he always wanted to watch things on TV I had no interest in. Things that bored me. I liked documentaries, he didn't. He liked football, I didn't. I liked historical things, he didn't. In short we had absolutely nothing in common any more and yet, I still loved him. In recent times men had tried. Ought I to take anything he or The Handyman had said seriously? Perhaps they had been expecting to enjoy a good laugh at some clairvoyant type who would go swooning around the room detecting supposed concentrations of psychic energy and having to be revived with smelling salts.When I reported back to Alicia, infuriatingly she asked, 'Well, Heath's suggestions are not a surprise to me. Why can't you use your gifts to help you?''I am not psychic. A biography is a life story. It needs facts, not fancies.''You're so stubborn. If you're to get anywhere in life you'll have to come to terms with having special powers. You're in a state of denial. Do you want the high point of your career to be having a cup of tea with Jeremy? Can't you try to open your mind to wider possibilities a little bit?'This was unkind to Jeremy, who had helped her so much to set up her shop. He always spoke well of her, and defended her against my charge that she made money out of hocus-pocus. Even Dale did not.
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