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Jon's eyes cleared and he took a hesitant step towards me. "Cariel," he said, "what you did mean Michael is here? Is he outside right now? Tell me what's going on."Don't tell him anything, one part of my being screamed.You've already done enough damage. Tell the soulless one you have made a mistake.Jon reached out a tentative hand and placed it on my cheek. I realized how I must look. My face was rigid ... and tense. One hand had unconsciously gone to my collar. I was unsure if I had been trying to rip it off ... or if I had been seeking the comfort of its touch.The golden rays of the morning had filtered in through the window. The light illuminated swirling wisps of dust as they floated gently around the bedroom.The soulless one looked very pale as the light of the new day touched his face. His scars looked like silver lines about the graceful curve of his face.A moment passed ... then two.Michael must have realized that I wasn't coming ... and the burning weight of his compulsion. I’d pretend I was in a dirty bookshop – all my 10,000 mags were stacked on shelves and such so it looked just like a bookshop – pulling a mag down and mac-wanking. When I had views over the street I’d stand peeping through my curtains wearing only my mac, so I could enjoy mac-wanking watching girls walk by. In one place I was doing that most days and some of the local girls guessed what I was up to, as I poked my head through the curtains and it nodded up and down as they made me spurt cum down my wall. I hoped they’d call me something like ‘wankalot’, like the girls in a place I worked did. When I was at the place where there was an adjacent bit of wasteland with a fence separating it from the street, I’d go down there with my mac, a couple of boxes of dirty mags and my case full of them, and a sheet of plastic to stand on so I could strip entirely naked, then put on my mac and peer through the holes in the fence waiting for girls to come along. A fully-dressed lovely girl on one.
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