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I'll make it sink though my thick skull that no girl could every love me. I will also despise my life.Suicide, you readers ask?It could be a course of action, except for several reasons. One, it would be the easy way out. And I can count on one hand the number of times I took the easy way out. Two, I seem to be doing some good in politics. I used to think that if only one person's life had been improved, changed for the better, then all the pain I'm going through was worth it. Hmm. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. My constant helping of various groups are giving others the benefits and joys I do not permit myself. Why should I enjoy my life? I'm only living it for the benefit of others anyway. And now for the other reason I muddle on. I seriously believe all the Gods got together and voted me too annoying to die. They'd much rather torment me on this earth.Those who the gods would destroy, they first make lead my life.Enough with thoughts nobody gives a damn about. I looked and it said simply, “Have you picked up a Daytimer yet?”That really brought me up short. I’d blown off the athletic director and trainer at the club yesterday and that reflected badly on Lissa. She’d gone to bat for me to help with my depression and I owed it to her not to embarrass her again. It was 2:30. Technically I should still be in class, but I’d already missed two thirds of it, so I decided to head first to Staples and then to the gym. I texted John and asked if he could meet at 4:00. I was on my way downstairs with my bag slung over my shoulder when the message chimed again and his response was simply, “Yes. CU then.”While I was walking I texted Lissa and told her I was on my way to Staples now. She sent back a smiley face. I finally popped Amy’s message open. “WTF?” was all it said. Jolly. Not only was I in shit with Melody, but with Amy and Sandra, too. The three musketeers. By then, I was at Staples, so I didn’t bother to open Sandra’s message.I spent half an.
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