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.I was at an art gallery with my friend Steve and his girlfriend Christine. It was the debut of a mutual friend's exhibit. He'd taken to painting crude depicitions of life around the city, looking like something a kid would draw with chalk on a suburban sidewalk. It was shitty, to say the least. Everything was. I mean, the guy painted razor blades to make some kind of "statement" or whatever, and now was selling them for eighty bucks each. Fuckin' douche.They had been trying to hook me up with this friend of Chris's named Samantha for the past few weeks, and we'd hung out a few times already. She thought things were going well for us. She'd been giving me all the signals, trying to make eye contact, taking opportunities to make light physical contact, laughing at everything I say to sound funny...typical mating dance. Nothing special to say about Sam. Dirty blonde hair, a few freckles, full face. Not unattractive at all, but just not my type, you know? I prefer someone who can't blend. If we are to avoid civil war when the news of the Emir's death leaks out, then we must go to Kobekistan today. Please bring the Princess Zubeydeh with you, Master, she will be of inestimable use as a source of trustworthy information for you." The Princess Zubeydeh?" asked David, not recognising the name."The Princess Zubeydeh, your mother — she knows Kobekistan which will be useful for you," came the response."She may not want to come, and her husband may not want to let her," David pointed out."Order her to come and she will come, of course. If the husband objects, either buy her or have him strangled," suggested Kamal Qumsiyeh, causing a sudden fit of choking among the Police and the gentlemen from the Foreign Office.David ignored their discomfort and continued, "But I don't want to be the Emir of Kobekistan. I want to stay here and finish my research." It is Allah's will that this happens. Master, when you are established as the Emir your actions are, of course, your choice. You.
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