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After a few months he asked if he could call me and he started calling me once or twice a week. In the past year he had never once asked me for money, or to accept a collect call, he always bought a phone card to call me. We grew closer and closer and he was quite clear in his letters that he wanted to start his life over and he wanted it to be with me. I had responded that I cared for him as I had gotten to know him, but I had been hurt so much in the past that I was wary and not sure of what I had wanted to do. He had promised to be patient and we had left things at that. I had been to visit him twice when my friend had gone to visit Joel, her boyfriend. They were not contact visits, I could just talk to him on a phone, but at least I could see him. I looked over at him and he had placed his head against the car window, his eyes were closed and I could hear that his breathing had slowed. He had told me the night before on the phone that he couldn’t sleep because he was so excited. Chandelier not only knew about the Nemoy-Araujotest. She could have me take the test to confirm my suspicions. It tookanother month before I could take the test, a month in which I just aboutdrove Sam and my dad crazy. Because for the first time since I hadcomprehended the situation I was in I was contemplating telling them thewhole truth. And so I would tell them at meals that I had something totell them and then chicken out. Or right out of the blue while watchingT.V. It got so bad that dad told me at one point that I was not allowed totell them anything about anything for the rest of the weekend.And then came the day of the test and I got some good news and some verybad news. And it was the same news. I am a girl trapped in a boy's body. Ihad known for years that there was something different about me, but Ididn't know what it could be. And then when I was seven the networks wereairing a trial in which the defendants had killed a boy who liked dressingup as a girl. I don't.
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