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After Elliot, I was honest with myself. I craved illicit sex and accepted I was going to continue being libidinous. The real reason for my breast augmentation, was not for myself, not for hubby but for men yet to be met. I don't think even hubby believed it was all for him, though he had no objection and encouraged me when I brought up the idea.I was a sex predator and wanted to experience more men before I was no longer desirable, difficult to admit until the honest realization, I was my father's daughter. The dilemma was not being faithful; was keeping my addiction hidden. I wanted the sanctuary of marriage and affairs.Reviewing my past, I realized Edward almost cost me my marriage. I stupidly thought my husband's swinging agenda would provide a rationale for his acceptance. Once his jealousy was exposed it was too late to stop seeing Edward. My lies it was over were not entirely convincing. It made my life schizophrenic, in love with two men, one dramatically changing me. More. But you golden,Bright as the sun;Despite your statuesquePhysique and the blank gazeOf your eyeless countenance,You makeViewersInto voyeurs,And the sun rises and setsOutsideThe magic of your window.6Woman too bigFor the man in your life,Too bigFor the room,Taller than ingressOr egress,You are trapped insideBy the casual shrugOf your shouldersIn a tight roomBlack and red and green.7She stands nakedBefore him,His Galatae;He has painted herHead and shoulders,Right arm and breasts,Belly and thighs,The shaded triangleOf her sex,Her claves and feet;She stands completeBut for her left arm,Which he has only just begunTo bring into being,This PygmalionOf paintsDressed in a suit and tieAnd bearing an easel of paintsWith which to paintThe birth of his Venus,Ex nihilo,Performing, once more,The impossible,Creating the perfect woman,His dream girl.8Her head and torso are colored by the sky:From the waist down she is the earth.There is no father here, no godBut the animus within the goddess.She leans.
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