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" Hi Mom, can we talk?" Sure honey, come sit next to mommy."I won't go into detail about the dialogue but the short of it is Johnny has reached to the point of desperation and if what he read is true, he would like to try it but wasn't 100% sure how I felt about it. I explained to him while I was shocked at first, and yes this is outside the norm of acceptable behavior, with me later finding other evidence that this is all legit and that I love him with all my heart I am willing to try. I also explained with him doing this will open up Pandora's box and he has to be aware of what that might entail, and if for any second he believes he can't handle the emotional aspect of what that would entail that we don't do it. That includes me, his sister, his aunt, no one. In fact, I further explained if he wants to do this, I only feel comfortable if he does it with me. This way I know firsthand if he is being corrupted that at least I can address. I have no idea how this could affect other. " You never tried. When you saw problems, you pulled away from them, and from me. That isn't how you solve problems, Joyce. I'm trying to change, but you make it harder when all you seem to do is tell me you don't like who I am now. I've made changes. You said yourself that I've gotten better with the kids. I've tried with Eddie, Dale and Cindy too. It isn't as perfect as I'd like it, but I'm trying to make it better all the time. I could use your help with that. I trust what you say to me." You don't trust anyone, Kenny. That's part of your problem. Even Mama and Gerta tell me that. You used to listen to people before, but now you just do whatever you want to."I knew she was right about that. This weekend had been a good example of me making so many changes to the agreed upon plans. I'd done it at the house with Emily, Brenda and Joyce, and again, with Joyce, over at Mama's house. Always, as it was happening, I'd believed it was change for the betterment of the existing plan. It.
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