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It was a quiet walk for the most part. It was early in the year. Later there might be the occasional tourist revving their way past on one of the barely functional motor scooters that were for hire in the town but for now his walk was only disturbed by the raucous hooting of a single dusty lorry as it passed him heading the same way. Freddie waved to the driver as it passed him; another load of marble from the island's one industry — the quarry.He reached the port as the group of girls were piling their equipment in a barely ordered heap on the quayside outside Alexander's bar. The five of them collapsed into wicker chairs. Freddie took up a place at an adjacent table. Alexander was nowhere to be seen, as usual at this time of day. His sister, Andrea, a dark haired girl that looked as if she had stepped out of the decoration of a black figure work vase, emerged from the bar. She was running things as usual. Freddie nodded. She knew he'd take his regular metrios; the tiny cup with its. “Ell, I swear to you. If you happen to be, ah, unsatisfied, I’m going to do the dishes for the rest of the year.” She said ‘unsatisfied’ with a raunchy sex hotline voice that made me cringe a little.I mean, yes, we were talking about that sex toy everyone and their grandma (sometimes literally) was talking, blogging, twittering and instragramming about, so that voice might be justified. But you see – sex toys just are not my thing. At all. Kinda like some people never get the hang of bidets, or quinoa, or menstruation cups, or saunas, or oral sex (both giving and receiving). Everyone knows it’s good for you, and it makes 99.9% of all people very happy, but sometimes you just end up in that 0.1%. People think you’re a naysayer, when all you really are is a ‘sorry, I think I must be doing this wrong, this isn’t fun at all, what are y’all talking about, nothing is happening’-sayer. A frustrated one because Lord knows life would be so much better if you could just enjoy yourself, and to.
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