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Baltimore is just full of characters, and it seems like I’ve had ’em all in my hack at one time or another in the years I’ve been doing this to keep a fucking roof over my head and pay my non-fucking ex-wife’s alimony bills. Like I said, I’ve seen all kinds of fares, but the topper had to be this rich society bitch last Christmas. I pick her up at BWI, load her bags into the trunk and take off. She’s wearing a dead fox around her shoulders and gave some fancy up town address. She’s about 40 years old, but still sexy in a stuck-up kind of way. Stinking rich. I’m not kidding you. But here’s the thing: When I pull in front of her castle, she goes into her purse to pay the tab, and whaddya know? She can’t find her wallet! “I’m terribly sorry,” she says in this hoity-toity voice. “I don’t seem to be able to pay you.” “That’s too fuckin’ bad, lady,”. Just when I thought I could find my voice, things got worse. "Is there a problem, ma'am," a very big security guy asked from the desk. She didn't answer him. She waited for me to explain myself. I could barely breathe, and speaking was out of the question. And then things really got bad. The exact twin of the woman in front of me walked up and demanded, "What the hell, John. Did you make two dates in case one of us didn't show?" The first woman saved me. "Who are you?" she demanded. "And why would you think that?" she added. "My name is Debbie, and he was supposed to bring me a daffodil for our lunch date. Did he make the same plans with you?" "Hi Debbie, I'm Kathy. I brought my own flower for a blind date with a man named Ricardo. I love daffodils." Debbie turned all smiles. "Me too!" She turned to me with a frown. "You mistook her for me?" she demanded. "You look very similar," I suggested. Similar was an understatement. They had to be twins. Debbie's hair was parted from the.
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